We all have ambition and want to see our dreams turn into reality. But how do you feel when you see people around you reach their goals before you do? What does your inner dialogue say? Do you feel jealous? Or are you happy for them?

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I had just finished a stressful week of speaking engagements in the US and was about to launch into another crazy week ahead. I was feeling anxious, not to mention exhausted! I called my boyfriend to tell him how I was feeling and, being the amazing, patient person that he is, he calmed and reassured me.

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Have you ever felt like your accomplishments or accolades aren’t warranted? Or do you ever worry that people will figure out that you’re not as smart, skilled, and competent as they currently think you are? That you’ll be “found out”? The odds are that you have, and if these feelings are common to you, you may have “impostor syndrome” (also referred to as impostor phenomenon).  

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In our society, conflict generally has a negative connotation. It’s common to think that the best way to safe and secure relationships is to avoid all disagreements — fewer disagreements means less fighting, equals happier relationships. Given this messaging, our bickering made me worry about the health and stability of my relationship.

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