By: Fuller Ming

Fuller Ming — Sat, 09 Nov 2019 04:41:53 +0000

First, full disclosure: I am a Christian man and adhere to the Christian ethic of no sex before marriage. (I was married and 29 years old before my first sexual experience with a woman, who was now my wife, and for 26 years, I have been with no other woman) Secondly, nobody feels pressure to wait – we fill pressure to participate, especially women. I agree, a double standard is wrong. However, the real pressure is not waiting to have sex, but it is sex before marriage, even as a man. Ritu, I'm sorry but you wrong here. Most men are easily aroused and do not require much to desire sexual activity. Remove healthy and SACRED boundaries from sex and many men – who already don't need relationship to want to participate - will pressure more women. Please note that I said most and many, not all men. I am not Indian, I am African American, but any culture that shames women for premarital sex should also condemn men for pressuring them. I also agree, we need to talk about it. But we need to be honest – statistically speaking, the vast majority of problems in human sexuality occur because men want/desire it one way and the women want it in a totally different way… generally speaking, of course. I am convinced that only authentic change in the heart of men and women will bring about the appropriate healthy and joy-filled experience, what you say is “something that’s really great”. Anything else tends to bring pain, heartache, disappointment, and other undesired consequences. If sex in marriage is difficult due to the differences between men and women (generally speaking), sex outside of marriage is even MORE difficult. My encouragement for your, Ritu, is to continue to stand against abusive patriarchal cultures but please reconsider your position on sex before marriage.

Comments on: Stop Shaming Sex Before Marriage

By: Fuller Ming