A few years ago, I was standing on a busy subway platform. The station was filled with the noise of people bustling around me, but I had drowned it all out. I was in a world of my own.

Awhile back, my sister and I were chatting about love and relationships (as sisters do!) and she shared something that was profound. She told me that love is like a flower.

A few weeks back, I was having one of those extremely busy days filled with deadlines and back-to-back meetings, with no time for more than a quick bite at lunch and a few bathroom breaks.

The problem for many of us is that we’re afraid to take the first shot. It’s often easier, and feels safer, to keep mulling over an idea or to keep yourself in the research phase. Taking the first step can be scary because it means opening yourself up to the world and to criticism by others.

We all have ambition and want to see our dreams turn into reality. But how do you feel when you see people around you reach their goals before you do? What does your inner dialogue say? Do you feel jealous? Or are you happy for them?

I had just finished a stressful week of speaking engagements in the US and was about to launch into another crazy week ahead. I was feeling anxious, not to mention exhausted! I called my boyfriend to tell him how I was feeling and, being the amazing, patient person that he is, he calmed and reassured me.

Have you ever felt like your accomplishments or accolades aren’t warranted? Or do you ever worry that people will figure out that you’re not as smart, skilled, and competent as they currently think you are? That you’ll be “found out”? The odds are that you have, and if these feelings are common to you, you may have “impostor syndrome” (also referred to as impostor phenomenon).  

In our society, conflict generally has a negative connotation. It’s common to think that the best way to safe and secure relationships is to avoid all disagreements — fewer disagreements means less fighting, equals happier relationships. Given this messaging, our bickering made me worry about the health and stability of my relationship.

The pressure of perfection is something that so many of us carry the weight of. Whether it’s being the perfect worker, partner, parent, child, or friend, we feel the need to be flawless. But as I have mentioned before, there is no such thing as perfection – it is unattainable.

It doesn’t matter how many times we receive feedback that we’re beautiful, intelligent, kind, or anything positive — we will struggle to accept compliments if we don’t believe that we actually embody those attributes.