{"id":70,"date":"2021-07-24T13:00:00","date_gmt":"2021-07-24T13:00:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/ritu.piknikmarketing.co\/2021\/07\/24\/overcome-moments-of-fear-with-simple-self-coaching\/"},"modified":"2022-02-18T20:58:56","modified_gmt":"2022-02-18T20:58:56","slug":"overcome-moments-of-fear-with-simple-self-coaching","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/ritubhasin.com\/blog\/overcome-moments-of-fear-with-simple-self-coaching\/","title":{"rendered":"Overcome Your Fears with the Power of Self-Coaching"},"content":{"rendered":"

Everyone has fears. It\u2019s how we\u2019re biologically wired. Some of us have a fear of failure, a fear of public speaking<\/a>, a fear of not being good enough (hello, impostor syndrome!<\/a>), or a fear of being judged for who we are. And while there is nothing wrong with having fears, the problem arises when our fears start to hold us back.<\/p>

Fear can grip us in many ways. It causes us to self-censor, to push down our authenticity<\/a>, to hesitate in reaching for opportunities, and more. Speaking from personal experience, fear can have a powerful impact on how we behave<\/a>, but the good news is that these moments of fear are perfect opportunities to practice the power of self-coaching.<\/p>

Self-coaching is the practice of pre-selecting words of affirmation, encouragement, and guidance that you can tell yourself when the gremlin<\/a> in your head wants you to hold back. It\u2019s a form of mental rehearsal, which we know is a clinically proven strategy for reducing stress. Essentially, it\u2019s a strategic way of giving yourself a pep talk when you need it most.<\/p>

Self-coaching is a great tool for building your confidence and overcoming your fears, because it\u2019s all about taking your power back. You don\u2019t need to rely on anyone or anything else to support you \u2014 you have all the tools you need to help yourself!<\/p>

Here are three ways you can get started with self-coaching.<\/p>

Start with Mindfulness<\/strong><\/h3>

As with many (if not all!) other forms of self-work, mindfulness<\/a> is essential for knowing when to self-coach. Mindfulness is the practice of tuning into the present moment to gain awareness of what you\u2019re thinking, feeling, and sensing \u2014 all in a non-judgmental way.<\/p>

When we experience moments of fear or panic, our nervous system is activated, and we enter into a fight, flight, or freeze response. When this happens, the physical symptoms of stress can impair aspects of our cognition and decision-making. By practicing mindfulness, we can slow down, hear what\u2019s happening in our mind, and be in greater control of how we speak and behave.<\/p>

After practicing mindful awareness of your thoughts for a while, you\u2019ll have a better idea of the kinds of situations in which you\u2019re likely to experience negative narratives. It\u2019s in those situations that you\u2019ll want to have self-coaching on standby.<\/p>

Then, whether your fear is caused by a negative narrative you\u2019ve internalized<\/a> (\u201cYou\u2019re not good enough\u201d), a self-limiting belief that you hold about yourself (\u201cI can\u2019t do this\u201d), or feeling pressure to behave like someone you\u2019re not<\/a> (\u201cDon\u2019t show your true feelings\u201d), self-coaching can help you to behave or speak in a way that will serve you better and is in alignment with your Authentic Self<\/a>.<\/p>

Use Mantras and Affirmations<\/strong><\/h3>

A mantra or positive affirmation<\/a> is a statement of reinforcement that you can use strategically to keep you grounded, rooted, and calm during moments of stress. You can choose something simple to practice and call upon when you need it most. For example, during tough moments I use the mantra \u201cI\u2019m fine, I\u2019m fine. I\u2019m great, I\u2019m great.\u201d<\/p>

You can also use mantras or affirmations during vulnerable moments. For example, the first time I said \u201cI love you\u201d to my partner, self-coaching really helped me! Firstly, I was terrified, because one of my own negative narratives is a fear of being unlovable. Secondly, when the moment arrived and I knew I had to tell him, my body was telling me to run far, far away (which I clocked using mindfulness)! Eventually, I called on the power of self-coaching to push through the nerves, and using the mantra, \u201cI am love, I can do this!\u201d to encourage myself, I was able to push through and express my true feelings. And I can tell you, it was a very rewarding feeling.<\/p>

You don\u2019t have to use these exact affirmations, and in fact, I encourage you to come up with your own! Choose something unique to you that will help make you feel more grounded during moments of fear or stress.<\/p>

Challenge Your Negative Narratives <\/strong><\/h3>

When it comes to challenging negative narratives and long-held fears, sometimes a positive statement isn\u2019t enough. In these cases, it\u2019s important to focus on giving yourself concrete evidence of the positive truth you want to be thinking instead.<\/p>

For example, if you suffer from impostor syndrome (like I occasionally do when I present to audiences), your negative narrative might sound something like, \u201cI can\u2019t believe I\u2019m up on a stage in front of 500 people right now. What if they think I\u2019m stupid?\u201d This negative narrative is hard to overcome with a simple, \u201cYou got this, girl!\u201d<\/p>

It can be more powerful to take stock of your accomplishments and use them as evidence to unlearn your negative narratives and instead start to internalize a positive truth about yourself. In the example above, I would beef up a positive, encouraging thought by adding evidence of my worthiness, for example: \u201cI am qualified to be on this stage. I have presented over 1,000 times in my career. I\u2019ve got this!\u201d<\/p>

Sometimes this kind of reality check is what we need to ground us and make us feel stronger, and the more often we do it, the more powerful and worthy we feel! It may not come naturally to you at first, but by practicing this essential self-coaching tool, soon you\u2019ll learn to recognize the negative thought patterns that are fueling your fears and have the tools at your disposal to quickly disrupt them.<\/p>

Feeling confident and self-assured in the face of our fears is something that everyone struggles with, but these techniques will help you to self-coach the next time the gremlin in your head makes an appearance. By practicing mindfulness, using personal affirmations and mantras, and focusing on positive truths, you\u2019ll soon find that your fears are encouraging you instead of holding you back.<\/p>","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Everyone has fears. It\u2019s how we\u2019re biologically wired. And while there’s nothing wrong with having fears, the problem arises when our fears start to hold us back.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":71,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[20],"tags":[49,60,70],"post-custom-tag":[288],"class_list":["post-70","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-stand-in-your-power","tag-confidence","tag-fear","tag-self-coaching","post-custom-tag-blog"],"yoast_head":"\nOvercome Your Fears with the Power of Self-Coaching<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Fear often holds us back \u2014 but it doesn't have to be that way! 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