After almost two years of lockdowns during the global pandemic, things are finally starting to open up a bit in some parts of the world. For me, this has meant getting to see many of my friends and beloveds in person again!

It can feel so good and exciting to make plans with your besties and hang out with people you really like again. But over the course of the pandemic, you may have realized there are friends in your life that have very different value systems than you and this is causing conflict and discomfort — and ultimately you’re realizing that don’t want to maintain a relationship with them anymore.

But breaking up with friends isn’t a concept that many of us have faced before. Of course you understand how to end a romantic relationship — but what about a friendship? And if you do break up with your friends, will you end up living a life of loneliness?!

As I’m sure you already know, I’m deeply committed to the importance of living authentically as much as possible, but I’m especially about it right now. As the world starts opening up and we’re re-adjusting our lives, this is the perfect opportunity to re-evaluate how we’ve been living — and that means being true to our authentic selves, even if it means breaking up with some of our friends.

In this video, I talk about what you can do if you find yourself in the tricky predicament of wanting to end friendships and why this can be so important for living authentically. And as you’ll hear me share, you won’t live a lonely life — I promise!

Watch now!

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He said something to the effect of this:

We expect to find the love we want in the packages we want it to be in. But instead God sends us the love we need, often in packages we might not expect — and, most importantly, God loves us through the people he sends into our lives.

At the time, I was single, having ended a relationship that I’d deeply wanted to work. When it didn’t work out, I felt so cheated by the Universe. I was desperately seeking to fill the void with new love, but it just wasn’t happening. I felt bad about myself — unworthy of love and sometimes downright unlovable. So when I heard Bishop Jakes’s words, I broke down. The essence of this lesson pushed me to see my situation and myself in a new light.

Firstly, his words forced me to take stock of the fact that I was “checklisting” in my romantic relationships. As so many of us do, I was focused on finding a mate that ticked all of the boxes on my checklist — not realizing that I was limiting myself, and that this checklist was actually quite disconnected from how love could look for me. (And, let’s be honest, my checklist wasn’t working out for me!)

Bishop Jakes’s words also forced me to acknowledge the love already present in my life that I was taking for granted. I may have been struggling in romance, but I was surrounded by amazing, incredible, loyal, loving friends and family who adored me. My friends and family had no obligation to me — they could choose to devote themselves to whomever they wanted — and yet they were choosing to love me.

In acknowledging this, I felt incredibly blessed. But most importantly, I realized that if I was attracting such amazing people into my life, it must be because I was worthy of love after all.

Essentially, Bishop Jakes’s words triggered a powerful reframe of how I saw my life and how I saw love. I was able to shift my focus from seeking love and mourning the love I’d lost to experiencing the love that was already in my life.

I already had the love that I needed, and I rediscovered it in a completely unexpected place.

The post How I Found Love in an Unexpected Place appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

In that moment, I had a choice — I could have used one of many stock answers that many just automatically fire, like “Not much, everything’s good!” or the classic, “I’m so busy these days!” (Sound familiar?)

In the end, I chose not to do that. I reflected for a moment, and then I decided to be honest. I opened up to her about how hard the last while has been: how work has been utterly overwhelming, watching my mom’s journey with Alzheimer’s has been so hard, and how I was navigating my romantic relationship, despite trust issues from being cheated on in the past.

I chose to be 100% real with her, despite not having seen her in over a year. And something remarkable happened: when I was finished, she gave me a big reassuring hug, took a deep breath, and candidly shared her own struggles with me.

In giving me her life news, she told me that she hadn’t been able to share some of it with anyone else. So why could she share it with me? Because I was my Authentic Self with her, and in sharing my ups and downs with her very vulnerably, I created space for her to do the same. And the experience was freeing for both of us.

This is what the authenticity principle is all about.

The authenticity principle, the teaching at the core of my book, is rooted in the concept that when we consistently choose to know, embrace, and be who we are — especially what makes us different — as often as possible, we feel better about ourselves, we bring this spirit to our actions, and we invite others to do the same.

In really knowing, understanding, and embracing my own truth, especially the things that make me “imperfect,” I had the ability to answer my friend’s question honestly, and I wasn’t afraid to do so. And, most powerfully, in sharing with my friend, I allowed her to bring her own truth and her differences into the light.

It may sound cheesy, but choosing to be authentic actually has the power to shift our individual lives and our collective culture.

I can tell you based on my own experiences, and my years of work as a leadership coach, that breaking through the barriers that hold us back from being ourselves is immeasurably freeing. Once we do so, we can be more creative, innovative, connected, empowered, and inclusive of others. And most importantly, we can build stronger, more meaningful relationships with other people — at work, in our families, and with our friends.

So take a moment to reflect on someone you know who is fiercely authentic — whether that’s a sibling, co-worker, best friend, or spouse. How do you feel when you’re around this person? How do you behave?

I encourage you to start using the authenticity principle now. It will change your life.

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