My mission in life is to create a more empowered and inclusive world, one where we can all belong. And while part of making this happen includes interrupting forms of oppression through my work as a DEI expert, the personal empowerment work I do is just as important.

Why do I think this?

Because both social justice work and personal empowerment work are about making the world a better and more welcoming, accepting, and loving place for everyone who has been the target of hurtful and hateful life experiences. And when we as individuals feel strong, grounded, and empowered, we have the energy and resilience we need to help empower others.

In this #ShineWithRitu video, I share how personal empowerment is deeply connected to social justice as well as one of my favorite quotes from one of my heroes that I hope inspires you too!

Watch now!

For more videos on how to be more socially conscious and stand in your power, check out these playlists:

– Be Socially Conscious

– Stand In Your Power

The post How Social Justice is Connected to Personal Empowerment appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

I love being a Woman of Color! I’m so fiercely proud of my identity as a Punjabi, Sikh Brown girl! That being said, I’d also be the first to tell you that life can feel very hard when you consistently face racism and other forms of oppression.

As someone who has dedicated her life to social justice and disrupting racism, I’ve had a lot of white people ask me, “What does it feel like to experience racism?” So in this #ShineWithRitu video, I share how racism feels for me, as well as some helpful tips I use to settle my system, feel better, and take care of myself when the sting of racism particularly hurts.

Watch now!

For more videos on how to stand in your power as a Person of Color – and how to be a better ally as a white person – check out these playlists:
• Stand In Your Power
• Be Socially Conscious

The post This is How It Feels to Experience Racism appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

Growing up, I often struggled with feeling like I belonged. One of the main reasons for this is that I felt like I had to pick one cultural identity and I wasn’t sure which one to choose. At school, I endured relentless racist bullying and so I didn’t feel particularly Canadian, but then I also struggled with many aspects of Indian culture.

It took me years to land on how to describe who I am culturally, and I learned some important lessons along the way!

In this #ShineWithRitu video, I share both how I’ve come to see myself culturally and why it’s important to move away from a binary way of thinking about our identities, all so that we can experience true belonging.

Watch now!

Learn more about living authentically with the Three Selves Framework here.

Download the first chapter of my book The Authenticity Principle to learn more.

The post It Can Be a Struggle to Understand Your Cultural Identity appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

Purpose is everything! It’s what helps us find meaning in our lives when we’re struggling with personal challenges and what motivates us to keep going when the world feels overwhelming (like right now…).

I have personally struggled with knowing who I am, living authentically, and reconciling my cultural identities, and I’d be the first to tell you that finding your purpose isn’t always easy. But as I share in this #ShineWithRitu video, finding our purpose is critical for living our best life. I hope it inspires you to do the same!

Watch now!

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Growing up, I knew that we were different from the other families in my neighborhood. As Sikhs (that’s the name of my faith — it’s pronounced Si-ckh and not Seek), we stood out because my father wore a bright red turban to cover his unshorn hair and my mother would sometimes wear a scarf to cover hers.

From constantly being stared at to being asked strange questions (e.g. Do you wash your hair with milk?) to often hearing overtly racist remarks, sometimes it was really hard to withstand the experience of being made to feel so different.

As an adult, being on receiving end of this type of behavior has lessened, however I’ve noticed the biases related to coming from a faith that wears religious head coverings continue on — beliefs like people thinking that Sikhs are oppressed, fanatical, and conservative. And as I share this about people from my faith, I know that the same biased, ignorant beliefs are held about people who are Muslim and Jewish.

In this video, I set the record straight by explaining (a) that wearing religious head coverings is a choice and (b) why it takes tremendous resilience, courage, and strength to do this in a society that judges us for it. Let’s reframe our thinking going forward!

Watch now!

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When I was a child, I desperately wanted to feel like I belonged.

As one of the only Brown girls at school in my overwhelmingly White neighborhood, I not only stuck out like a sore thumb, but I was also the target for relentless racist bullying that went on for years.

For a long time, even after the bullying stopped, I had very little self-confidence. I knew I had great potential — I was a big nerd after all (you’ll have to ask me sometime what my favorite book as a child was!) — but I felt so small most of the time.

It took me decades to make progress in overcoming my insecurities and feel more confident in who I am, which meant a lot of healing work, including years of therapy, to get to a point where I truly feel good about who I am.

In this video, I share a bit about my journey to unlock my confidence and why it’s so critical to peel back the layers of insecurity that might be holding you back from both living with authenticity and reaching your full potential.

Watch now!

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I hate wearing blazers.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love to express myself by wearing bright colors and patterns, chunky jewelry, sky-high heels, and more. There’s something about blazers that reminds me so much of the corporate world I left behind in order to become a professional inclusion speaker, which is why I can’t stand wearing them. Blazers don’t make me 100% feel like my Authentic Self.

But you might be thinking, “Wait a minute Ritu, I’ve definitely seen you in a blazer before” — and you’re totally right because I still wear them for work things. I’m good to throw on a bright colored blazer for the corporate environment — it’s easy for me to do and, because it’s a red or electric green, this adaptation helps me to still feel authentic.

What I’ve just shared is a prime example of my Three Selves framework at play. By understanding the significance of embracing my Authentic Self (I hate wearing blazers and don’t want to do this ever), the critical importance of kicking out of my Performing Self (I feel pressure to conform — to wear a typical navy or grey boring corporate blazer), and the effectiveness of choosing to behave as my Adapted Self (in certain situations, I’ll choose to wear a blazer, but it’ll be brightly colored), I’m not only in tune with my needs and desires, but I feel authentic, confident, and empowered.

And you can do this too by learning how to decide when to be authentic versus being adaptive!

But it can often be difficult to decide which self to show up as — your Authentic Self or your Adapted Self. You’ll find yourself in situations where you won’t be able to be your true, 100% Authentic Self may (it happens!), but you may not be sure about whether you should adapt instead because isn’t that conforming?

So the question is: how do I know when to be my Authentic Self versus my Adapted Self? In other words — how do I know when to wear a bright, colorful blazer and how do I know when to ditch the blazer altogether?

In this video, I share a tool that will help you tune into your Three Selves and help you decide whether to be authentic or adaptive in any situation. I’m sure you’ll find that it’ll transform your life!

Watch now!

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We know from extensive research this is a real thing: women continue to be paid significantly less than men for the same work. This happens for a range of reasons — all rooted in misogyny, patriarchy, and sexism — and shows up as gender bias in key decision-making moments in the workplace.

We also know that, as women, we often don’t ask to be paid what we rightly deserve. This can happen because of our experiences with gender bias, feeling not worthy enough and like we didn’t deserve it, worrying that we’re “faking” our achievements (hello impostor syndrome) and so much more. Over time, this constant negative messaging becomes internalized, and we actually start to believe these thoughts.

But here’s the thing: we need to be able to recognize our true value. As women, we need to ask for more because we’re worth it and we deserve it!

Know What You Deserve — and Then Go Get It

You may remember from my personal story that I’m a former lawyer turned HR executive turned DEI consultant and empowerment speaker, so I’ve been having career development conversations — including conversations about salary — with women for over 20 years. I’d be the first to tell you that asking to be paid more can feel like a tricky, if not impossible, conversation to navigate. But if you don’t stand in your power and take the initiative to ask, employers may not offer you your true value.

I know this experience firsthand. Throughout my career as a Woman of Color, I got sick of being underpaid and undercut for my value. Eventually I finally decided to stand in my power and ask to be paid more than market value. I knew I was excellent, and I knew my own worth, so I asked for what I deserved — and after much effort, I got it!

I didn’t just waltz into my boss’s office one day and ask for a raise. I had a step-by-step plan that I rehearsed and prepared to ensure I was showing up at my best in that moment.

Based on my experience, here are the 6 steps you’ll want to take when asking for a pay raise in your current job. So, grab a pen and take notes as I take you through the dos and don’ts of asking to be paid more.

6 Steps for Asking for a Raise

Step #1: Know the Salary Range for Your Specific Job Within Your Organization

The first step is to figure out what the going salary range is for your job within your organization. You’ll want to figure out what your organization is roughly paying other employees who are doing the same job as you.

You can ask your HR department or your colleagues, but one of the most important groups of people to ask about salary are those who have already left the organization. People who have left are more willing to share about salary after they’re gone than when they’re working in the organization. Start having these conversations now!

Step #2: Know the Market

The next step is to conduct some research and look into what the market range is for your job across industries. Figure out what other people are being paid for your current job at other organizations and in other sectors. This is a really important step that will help you to better understand the current salary range on the market for your job — which, in turn, will help you to have a more thorough and convincing conversation with your boss.

Step #3: Arrange A Meeting With your Boss

After you finish your research, the next step is to actually schedule a meeting with your boss to talk about your raise. Make sure that you’re very clear and direct about this from the get-go. Let them know you’d like to speak to them about an increase in your compensation. Don’t be vague or shy here! The more direct you are in the beginning, the more likely you’ll get what you actually ask for. Whether your meeting is in person or online, use these tips to help you be better prepared to speak.

Step #4: Script and Practice

So now the meeting is scheduled, but what you do leading up to the meeting is just as important as what happens during the meeting. Preparation is key here — be sure you know exactly what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it and write ALL of it down. (Pro tip: utilize a tool called scripting to help you prepare for what want to say. Check out my video here or download my scripting worksheet here.)

List out all of the reasons why you think you deserve to be paid more and refer back to the research you conducted in steps 1 and 2. Once you finish writing your script, don’t just stop there — rehearse it! Practice, practice, and practice again to make sure your script is solid. That way, when you’re nervous or triggered during the meeting you’ll have the words ready for you at your disposal when you need them.

Step #5: Meet and Follow Up

You’re now prepared as you’ll ever be, and you know exactly what you want and how you’re going to ask for it. You have your meeting with your boss, and (fingers crossed!) it goes really well. Now what? The work doesn’t stop there — following up with your boss immediately after your meeting is a critical step. Follow up in writing by summarizing the discussion and what your expectations are in an email. This not only creates a paper trail for HR, but it also signals to your boss that this is very important to you.

Step #6: Follow Up Again!

So you send your first follow up email immediately after your meeting. Your boss acknowledges it, but weeks go by and you hear nothing. After all that hard work and preparation, this is the last thing you want to happen! Step 6 is to consistently follow up until you get a resolution. Oftentimes bosses or leaders will have these types of conversations and then “take it away” for weeks and weeks on end before doing anything about it. By consistently following up and reminding them, you’re showing how important this is to you and how seriously you’re taking it. So if you don’t hear back after the first time, follow up again!

Shut Down the Noise — You Got This!

These six steps will help you feel more confident going into conversations with your boss about your compensation. These conversations aren’t easy, and there’s no magic formula to follow — but hopefully these 6 steps will be a good jumping off point for you to ask for what you want.

As women, we’re constantly being undervalued and told that there are so many things that are wrong with us — that we’re not smart enough, that we’re too bossy, that we’re not capable, and more. But you have the power to shut down this noise and fight for what you’re worth — because you deserve it!

The next time you’re looking for a new job or negotiating a salary at your current role, follow these six steps as you prepare to ask for a raise. Stand in your power, do the research, and ask for what you’re worth. Good luck!

The post Women Deserve to be Paid More: How to Ask for a Raise (And Get One!) appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

Being authentic can be really hard at times.

As a fierce advocate for authenticity, I frequently talk about the importance of being your Authentic Self as much as possible. But trust me — I know it’s easier said than done!

Through my work and research on authenticity (and life experience), I can tell you that no one can be their Authentic Self 100% of the time. Especially given that we live in communities as human beings. And depending on the specific circumstances, it may not even be in your best interest to be your Authentic Self in certain moments.

For example, maybe you know that it would be better for you to speak in a more animated way while presenting at a work meeting instead of your preferred way of being more soft-spoken. Or maybe you need to pass along difficult feedback to a loved one and you know it’ll be better for you to tone down the language you actually want to use.

This is where your Adapted Self comes in. The Adapted Self is a powerful part of my Three Selves Framework that enables you to behave in a way that serves your needs, as well as the needs of others, while still maintaining aspects of your authenticity. In this video, I dig into what the Adapted Self is and why it’s such an important self for you to understand deeply. Learning about your Adapted Self will help you to increasingly stand in your power and commit to living an authentic life.

Watch now to learn why!

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Imagine this scenario:

You’re at the office and your colleagues are yukking it up about the big sports game that everyone but you seems to have watched the night before. You didn’t watch it because (a) you’re not a sports fan and (b) you had a big cultural celebration with your family. Because you’ve never talked about your culture or how much you hate sports with your work colleagues before, but you also don’t want to feel like the odd one (which you already do!), you smile and nod vigorously, and pretend to know what happened at the game. But you feel like crap as you do this.

Or how about this:

You’re getting ready for an interview for your dream job. You’ve been wearing your hair naturally for the past few weeks and loving it. You briefly consider keeping it that way for the interview, but you worry it might not be “professional” enough and that you won’t be taken seriously. In the end you decide to straighten your hair for the interview in the hopes it’ll help you land the job. You feel frustrated that you have to this, but you do it anyway.

If you can relate to either one of these scenarios, you’re showing up as what I call your Performing Self. By “performing” I mean that life is a stage and you’re an actor on the stage, putting out a curated image of yourself. To put it simply, performing means that you’re changing who you are and masking your Authentic Self to gain social acceptance even though you don’t want to do this — and it feels awful to do!

I know firsthand how difficult it can be to perform all day long, day after day (as I laid out in my book, The Authenticity Principle). I struggled with being authentic for years because I was deflecting bias by putting out a curated image of myself and performing. It can feel disempowering and exhausting to constantly change how you dress, behave, speak, and more in order to “fit in”, or to shield against judgment or bias. So what can you do?

In this video, I share exactly how to push out of your Performing Self so that you can live your best, authentic life.

Watch now!

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