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How Do I Know When to Be Authentic and When to Adapt?

I hate wearing blazers.

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I love to express myself by wearing bright colors and patterns, chunky jewelry, sky-high heels, and more. There’s something about blazers that reminds me so much of the corporate world I left behind in order to become a professional inclusion speaker, which is why I can’t stand wearing them. Blazers don’t make me 100% feel like my Authentic Self.

But you might be thinking, “Wait a minute Ritu, I’ve definitely seen you in a blazer before” — and you’re totally right because I still wear them for work things. I’m good to throw on a bright colored blazer for the corporate environment — it’s easy for me to do and, because it’s a red or electric green, this adaptation helps me to still feel authentic.

What I’ve just shared is a prime example of my Three Selves framework at play. By understanding the significance of embracing my Authentic Self (I hate wearing blazers and don’t want to do this ever), the critical importance of kicking out of my Performing Self (I feel pressure to conform — to wear a typical navy or grey boring corporate blazer), and the effectiveness of choosing to behave as my Adapted Self (in certain situations, I’ll choose to wear a blazer, but it’ll be brightly colored), I’m not only in tune with my needs and desires, but I feel authentic, confident, and empowered.

And you can do this too by learning how to decide when to be authentic versus being adaptive!

But it can often be difficult to decide which self to show up as — your Authentic Self or your Adapted Self. You’ll find yourself in situations where you won’t be able to be your true, 100% Authentic Self may (it happens!), but you may not be sure about whether you should adapt instead because isn’t that conforming?

So the question is: how do I know when to be my Authentic Self versus my Adapted Self? In other words — how do I know when to wear a bright, colorful blazer and how do I know when to ditch the blazer altogether?

In this video, I share a tool that will help you tune into your Three Selves and help you decide whether to be authentic or adaptive in any situation. I’m sure you’ll find that it’ll transform your life!

Watch now!

Ritu Bhasin wearing a white and black top, with her chin resting in her hand

I'm Ritu.

I’m an award-winning life coach, empowerment speaker, author, and inclusion expert dedicated to helping you live your best life.

Ritu Bhasin sitting on a coach, leaning on three cushions with one hand on her folded legs and one hand in her hair. She is smiling authentically and looking off to her left.

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