I love being a Woman of Color! I’m so fiercely proud of my identity as a Punjabi, Sikh Brown girl! That being said, I’d also be the first to tell you that life can feel very hard when you consistently face racism and other forms of oppression.

As someone who has dedicated her life to social justice and disrupting racism, I’ve had a lot of white people ask me, “What does it feel like to experience racism?” So in this #ShineWithRitu video, I share how racism feels for me, as well as some helpful tips I use to settle my system, feel better, and take care of myself when the sting of racism particularly hurts.

Watch now!

For more videos on how to stand in your power as a Person of Color – and how to be a better ally as a white person – check out these playlists:
• Stand In Your Power
• Be Socially Conscious

The post This is How It Feels to Experience Racism appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

The holiday season is upon us, and for many people that means spending time with extended family for the first time in a very long time.

While the holidays can be difficult to manage even without the added stress of pandemic traveling, busy work schedules, and coordinating plans, this year’s holiday tensions could be even higher — especially if you’re someone who has family members that openly share their racist remarks, jokes, and views.

If you’re in this situation, it might be tempting to forgo the holidays altogether. But as an anti-racism educator and social justice activist who has personally been in similar situations, I can tell you that it’s so important to call out these types of behavior, especially with family members.

In this video, I share four strategies for dealing with racist family members and why it’s so important to have difficult conversations about racism with our loved ones.

Watch now!

The post Help! I Have a Racist Family appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

While it may seem that racially insensitive Halloween costumes aren’t that big a deal in comparison to, say, police brutality, it’s critical that we call out the full range of racial micro-aggressions and other manifestations of white supremacy. And this is why I wanted to address racist Halloween costumes, as it comes up every year without fail.

Whether it’s parents dressing their children in costumes based on outdated (i.e. racist) Disney characters or adults wearing costumes based on cultural stereotypes — like belly dancers or ninjas — it is a form of cultural appropriation and racism to dress up in other people’s cultural dress.

Cultural Appropriation on Halloween

Cultural appropriation occurs when an individual or group of individuals — typically from a dominant cultural group (for example, white people or heterosexual people) — adopt the customs, practices, ideas, or other elements of culture from another — typically disadvantaged or oppressed — group (for example, Indigenous peoples or members of the LGBTQ communities) in an insensitive, inappropriate, or unacknowledged manner.

To quote journalist Chelsea Candelerio, cultural appropriation occurs when “a person or group takes a group or a culture’s ideas, customs, or styles without acknowledgment or proper credit, sometimes even exploiting it for profit.” (Read her detailed article about cultural appropriation here.)

Cultural appropriation isn’t just limited to Halloween costumes — it shows up in myriad other ways, from “borrowing” or copying slang, fashion, and beauty ideas from historically oppressed groups, often without ever acknowledging the original influence, to what is happening in the wellness industry with yoga in particular.

So while a rapper or Pocahontas costume might feel fun, they’re actually highly problematic, and it’s important that white people in particular develop an equity lens in understanding why this is the case, rather than falling prey to white fragility.

So what can you do to ensure that you aren’t trivializing someone else’s culture or playing on the stereotypes of marginalized communities with your Halloween costume? First, ask yourself these questions:

1. Does this costume include culturally significant clothing, head coverings, jewellery, symbols or artifacts, tattoos and body markings, etc. from a culture that isn’t my own?
   
2. Does this costume involve painting your face black or brown (i.e. depictions of blackface)?
   
3. Could this costume be seen as insensitive or mocking towards marginalized groups? This includes people of color, Indigenous peoples, religious minorities, members of LGBTQ+ communities, people with disabilities, and more.
   
4. Is this costume based on cultural stereotypes?

And finally, if you’re already preparing an argument about how your costume is about cultural appreciation and not cultural appropriation, I highly recommend that you come up with another idea.

Nobody’s culture is a costume. We need to do better this Halloween.

The post My Culture is Not a Costume — Interrupt Racism During Halloween appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

The openness of elected officials in voicing hatred has opened the door to more visible white-supremacist activities, misogynistic behavior, homophobia, transphobia, and more — and unfortunately, this is just some of what we’ve seen.

But we’ve also seen the Black Lives Matter and #MeToo movements, which have inspired hope that we can create a better world despite everything that’s swirling around us.

What also brings me hope is the outpouring of “I want to stop this hate” messaging from people who want to do better to support those of us who are feeling the sting of oppression. As a diversity expert, I’m repeatedly being asked, “What can I do to help?”

I’m grateful for this because we need strong allies in the fight against hate, racism, misogyny, discrimination, and supremacy. It’s not enough — and, in fact, adds insult to injury — to have marginalized people carry the load when it comes to interrupting oppression. Allies are critical to creating real change.

But what does being an effective ally actually look like? Here are a few things you can do to better interrupt racism, hate, and discrimination with your own actions.

1. Love and Accept Yourself

I’ve talked about how self-love is a foundational building block for an inclusive world. I can’t emphasize enough how critical self-love is in healing our own wounds, which is the clutch for creating a more inclusive society.

At first it might sound strange that turning your gaze inward can create change for others. But here’s one of the most important messages I can leave you with: we hate others because we don’t love ourselves. We fear others’ differences because we fear our own differences. And ultimately, we don’t love ourselves and we fear our own differences, because others hate on us. It’s a vicious cycle that can only be interrupted by self-love. Only by loving ourselves unconditionally — which means embracing our own authenticity, including our differences — will we be able to recognize, understand, and value others’ differences.

2. Speak Less, Listen More

One of the most powerful things that you can do as ally is to listen when people share their experiences with oppression. And when I say listen, I mean the act of deeply taking in what others are sharing with you.

We need people to hear us, hear our stories, and hear about the impact. Many of us feel silenced and have had our experiences downplayed or minimized throughout our lives. Making room for our voices, really hearing what we say, and believing our truths is critical for both understanding and change. (Here’s how to listen in an effective way.)

Also, know that asking questions is a critical part of becoming a better ally. But before you start asking away, take the time to do your own learning about oppression. This way, you can ask questions from a place of some knowledge to deepen your understanding. And when you ask (respectfully, of course, and only when the other person is comfortable with sharing) be prepared to primarily listen and affirm.

3. Use Your Voice to Challenge Hate

An effective ally uses their voice to speak out against hate. When you observe racism, sexism, or other forms of oppression — be it overt or unconscious, with actions or words, at work or at home — speak out.

It’s not enough for people on the receiving end of hate to call it out. Those with power and privilege must step up to do this as well. Doing so can be a powerful learning moment for yourself and for others.

4. Interrupt Your Biases

Every single one of us, without exception, has biases. And we need to know what our own biases are so that we can work on them.

Interrupting and owning your own part in racism, misogyny, and other forms of oppression is critical, and by changing your own behavior, you help to interrupt forms of overt and systemic oppression. Every action matters to help dismantle supremacy.

Not sure where to start? I suggest Harvard’s IATS — an online tool that can be very eye-opening about the unconscious biases we hold about others, and about our own identities — or my Empower Page about identifying your biases.

5. Be Resilient and Have Humility

Even when you’re working your hardest to be an ally, you’re likely going to make mistakes. Somewhere along the way, you’ll probably end up saying or doing the wrong thing. (Happens to me all the time, and I teach inclusion for a living!)

Resilience and humility are key here. Acknowledge when you make a mistake, and apologize from your heart about the impact of your actions — but don’t let it stop you from continuing to learn and to support others. I’ve found that it’s important to approach each situation from the perspective of learning.

Sometimes we think that our individual actions alone don’t really matter or make a difference. But every drop in the ocean matters! Individuals really do alter the system, and by changing your behavior after today, your solidarity can make a difference.

The post 5 Things You Can Do to Be a Better Ally appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

Growing up as the child of immigrant parents, I often felt out of place in my predominately white neighborhood. Aside from being one of the only Brown kids in my school, I also had — at least according to many of my teachers and peers — a “hard to pronounce” name. (FYI, it’s not that hard to pronounce! Here’s how you say it.)

In my twenties, when I decided to reclaim the correct pronunciation of my name, one of the things I repeatedly heard from people who had only ever known me by the incorrect pronunciation of my name was:

a) that they wish they’d known they were saying my name wrong and

b) that they don’t know how to ask someone the correct pronunciation of their name in a way that doesn’t seem rude or awkward.

Learning the right way to ask someone about the correct pronunciation of their name is such an important skill for anyone who wants to be more inclusive. So in this video, I share a helpful script for you to use when you want to ask someone about how to pronounce their name correctly.

Watch now!

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Our names are so important. Names are a huge part of our identity, a reflection of our cultural backgrounds, and more. Speaking from my own experience, having your name mispronounced repeatedly feels really awkward and alienating — you start to feel like you’re the “other” or an outsider.

But correcting people when they mispronounce your name can also feel awkward and difficult, especially as a person of color, when you’re already consistently on the receiving end of biases related to your cultural background.

In this video, I share how to get people to pronounce your name correctly if you have a “hard-to-pronounce” name, based on my own experiences with people mispronouncing my name.

Watch now!

The post How to Get People to Pronounce Your Name Correctly appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

When I was a little girl, I was one of a few kids of color in my very white, homogenous neighborhood, which meant that with my brown skin, long black braids, and hard-to-pronounce name, I stuck out a lot. And when you’re a kid, being different can often draw attention — and not the positive kind.

For many years, I was the target of racist childhood bullying, and these experiences ultimately caused me to hide my Authentic Self, reject my cultural heritage, and struggle with low self-esteem as a young adult.

I’m so grateful to say that I’m forward from these dark experiences and I finally feel beautiful in my skin — both inside and out.

In this video, I share what helped me heal from my childhood experiences with racist bullying and how I learned to embrace my Brownness and stand in my power as a woman of color.

Watch now!

The post How I Overcame Racist Childhood Bullying appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

In the midst of this racial injustice crisis moment, the term white fragility is consistently coming up. And finally so!

As we move forward in the fight against white supremacy, it’s so important to talk about what white fragility is and understand the negative impact it can have on our efforts to dismantle and change systems and structures that are permeated by white supremacy and racism — and on our efforts to even have conversations about racism.

So what is white fragility?

In this video, I share a definition of white fragility, how it shows up for white people, and why it can be such a problem when it comes to social justice work.

Watch now!

The post What is White Fragility? appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

We are in the thick of a racial injustice crisis, and anti-racism and allyship have taken center stage in many of our newsfeeds and daily conversations.

In the midst of this, so many people are saying that they want to interrupt racism and that they care about fighting for social justice, but despite these great intentions, they don’t shift their behavior or they do so minimally, which can be an example of performative allyship.

Given the surge of this discourse, you may have heard this language: You’re either racist or you’re anti-racist.

This concept is a driving insight from Ibram X. Kendi’s excellent book How to Be an Antiracist where he writes, “One either allows racial inequities to persevere, as a racist, or confronts racial inequities, as an antiracist.”

While it may be hard to hear that you’re either racist or anti-racist and there is no in-between, it’s so important to understand what this concept actually means. And so in this video, I share the difference between racism and anti-racism and what you must start doing if you want to contribute to the fight against racism.

Watch now!

The post You’re Either Racist or Anti-Racist appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

Do you know how to say my name in the correct Indian pronunciation? I ask this because I can’t tell you how hard it is for most people to say my name correctly!

From a young age, people consistently got my name wrong. Even though my name is common in India, where my parents immigrated from, in Canada my name is quite unique, and for years it was a constant source of teasing and bullying. Eventually I gave up on having people pronounce my name correctly and just went by “Ree-too”. I started to hate my name.

This is a common experience for so many people who have “hard to pronounce” names. Many of us will change the pronunciation of our names or even legally change our names to more Anglo (i.e. white) sounding names (I personally wanted to change my name to Carice for a while…) just to avoid having to constantly hear our names mispronounced.

The pressure I felt — and which I know many other people feel — to have an Anglicized (“white”) name is tied back to white supremacy and is a manifestation of the racism and racial bias that people of color have internalized for generations.

In this video, I share why our names are so important and talk about why we should reclaim our names as a key part of both interrupting white supremacy and living as our authentic selves.

Watch now!

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