We know from extensive research this is a real thing: women continue to be paid significantly less than men for the same work. This happens for a range of reasons — all rooted in misogyny, patriarchy, and sexism — and shows up as gender bias in key decision-making moments in the workplace.

We also know that, as women, we often don’t ask to be paid what we rightly deserve. This can happen because of our experiences with gender bias, feeling not worthy enough and like we didn’t deserve it, worrying that we’re “faking” our achievements (hello impostor syndrome) and so much more. Over time, this constant negative messaging becomes internalized, and we actually start to believe these thoughts.

But here’s the thing: we need to be able to recognize our true value. As women, we need to ask for more because we’re worth it and we deserve it!

Know What You Deserve — and Then Go Get It

You may remember from my personal story that I’m a former lawyer turned HR executive turned DEI consultant and empowerment speaker, so I’ve been having career development conversations — including conversations about salary — with women for over 20 years. I’d be the first to tell you that asking to be paid more can feel like a tricky, if not impossible, conversation to navigate. But if you don’t stand in your power and take the initiative to ask, employers may not offer you your true value.

I know this experience firsthand. Throughout my career as a Woman of Color, I got sick of being underpaid and undercut for my value. Eventually I finally decided to stand in my power and ask to be paid more than market value. I knew I was excellent, and I knew my own worth, so I asked for what I deserved — and after much effort, I got it!

I didn’t just waltz into my boss’s office one day and ask for a raise. I had a step-by-step plan that I rehearsed and prepared to ensure I was showing up at my best in that moment.

Based on my experience, here are the 6 steps you’ll want to take when asking for a pay raise in your current job. So, grab a pen and take notes as I take you through the dos and don’ts of asking to be paid more.

6 Steps for Asking for a Raise

Step #1: Know the Salary Range for Your Specific Job Within Your Organization

The first step is to figure out what the going salary range is for your job within your organization. You’ll want to figure out what your organization is roughly paying other employees who are doing the same job as you.

You can ask your HR department or your colleagues, but one of the most important groups of people to ask about salary are those who have already left the organization. People who have left are more willing to share about salary after they’re gone than when they’re working in the organization. Start having these conversations now!

Step #2: Know the Market

The next step is to conduct some research and look into what the market range is for your job across industries. Figure out what other people are being paid for your current job at other organizations and in other sectors. This is a really important step that will help you to better understand the current salary range on the market for your job — which, in turn, will help you to have a more thorough and convincing conversation with your boss.

Step #3: Arrange A Meeting With your Boss

After you finish your research, the next step is to actually schedule a meeting with your boss to talk about your raise. Make sure that you’re very clear and direct about this from the get-go. Let them know you’d like to speak to them about an increase in your compensation. Don’t be vague or shy here! The more direct you are in the beginning, the more likely you’ll get what you actually ask for. Whether your meeting is in person or online, use these tips to help you be better prepared to speak.

Step #4: Script and Practice

So now the meeting is scheduled, but what you do leading up to the meeting is just as important as what happens during the meeting. Preparation is key here — be sure you know exactly what you’re going to say and how you’re going to say it and write ALL of it down. (Pro tip: utilize a tool called scripting to help you prepare for what want to say. Check out my video here or download my scripting worksheet here.)

List out all of the reasons why you think you deserve to be paid more and refer back to the research you conducted in steps 1 and 2. Once you finish writing your script, don’t just stop there — rehearse it! Practice, practice, and practice again to make sure your script is solid. That way, when you’re nervous or triggered during the meeting you’ll have the words ready for you at your disposal when you need them.

Step #5: Meet and Follow Up

You’re now prepared as you’ll ever be, and you know exactly what you want and how you’re going to ask for it. You have your meeting with your boss, and (fingers crossed!) it goes really well. Now what? The work doesn’t stop there — following up with your boss immediately after your meeting is a critical step. Follow up in writing by summarizing the discussion and what your expectations are in an email. This not only creates a paper trail for HR, but it also signals to your boss that this is very important to you.

Step #6: Follow Up Again!

So you send your first follow up email immediately after your meeting. Your boss acknowledges it, but weeks go by and you hear nothing. After all that hard work and preparation, this is the last thing you want to happen! Step 6 is to consistently follow up until you get a resolution. Oftentimes bosses or leaders will have these types of conversations and then “take it away” for weeks and weeks on end before doing anything about it. By consistently following up and reminding them, you’re showing how important this is to you and how seriously you’re taking it. So if you don’t hear back after the first time, follow up again!

Shut Down the Noise — You Got This!

These six steps will help you feel more confident going into conversations with your boss about your compensation. These conversations aren’t easy, and there’s no magic formula to follow — but hopefully these 6 steps will be a good jumping off point for you to ask for what you want.

As women, we’re constantly being undervalued and told that there are so many things that are wrong with us — that we’re not smart enough, that we’re too bossy, that we’re not capable, and more. But you have the power to shut down this noise and fight for what you’re worth — because you deserve it!

The next time you’re looking for a new job or negotiating a salary at your current role, follow these six steps as you prepare to ask for a raise. Stand in your power, do the research, and ask for what you’re worth. Good luck!

The post Women Deserve to be Paid More: How to Ask for a Raise (And Get One!) appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

These past couple of years have been difficult for so many of us — especially on the career front. From the global pandemic (hello, burnout!) to job insecurity and now the “Great Resignation”, it feels more difficult than ever to navigate an authentic and fulfilling career.

From a career perspective, hating your job is one of the hardest places to be! I know firsthand what it’s like when you hate your job and don’t know what to do about it. I’ve been there before, where I’ve struggled with what to do with my career and finding my purpose (you can read about my multiple career identity transitions here).

It can be really challenging to be stuck in a job you don’t like, especially if you don’t know what to do next. But in good news, it doesn’t always have to be this way! There are a few things that you can do to make a smooth career shift.

In this video, I share my advice on what to do when you hate your job, as well as practical steps that you can take in order to make a smooth and effective career change.

And if you’re struggling with your career right now, know that it may take some time — but if you’re willing to do the work and stay true to your values, you’ll start to see some major changes in your life.

Watch now!

The post What to Do When You Hate Your Job appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

If this is you, you know it’s time for a change — but what should you do first?

Answering this question is often the hardest part of making a change in your career. You know you hate what you’re doing, but you don’t know what in the world to do instead. You think to yourself, “If not this, then what?”

For many years, before I became a professional speaker, I provided career development support and coaching to professionals. I’ve now coached hundreds and hundreds of people on how to navigate through their jobs and their careers — and I learned a lot about how to successfully move out of a job you hate and into a job you love. Here’s my advice for how to get there.

Uncover Your Dream Job

You may be chomping at the bit to leave your current job for greener pastures, but the first step isn’t an action — it’s an exercise in reflection. You must know where you want to go before you can determine how to get there. Start by doing some self-reflection about what it is you want in the next phase of your career. (And in the case of COVID burnout, whether you actually want to quit your job or if you just need more support.)

At this stage, think big and without restrictions as you consider the following questions:

• What are your values?
• What do you enjoy doing?
• What are you good at?
• What do you most want to contribute to the world?

After you’ve reflected on your basic drivers above, you can then turn to more work-specific reflection questions:

• What skills do you want to use in your work?
• Do you want to stay in your current field or start a new career?
• Do you want to work behind a desk or be out in the world?
• Do you want to work with people? And if so, in what capacity?
• Do you want to be an employee or do you want to run your own business?

After spending some time reflecting, you’ll have a better idea of your dream job. Over weeks, or even months, take the time to reflect regularly and land on something that really resonates with you. If over time you find yourself stuck, you may want to consult a career coach to help determine your direction.

Know What Your Realistic Next Job Is

Sometimes moving on to your dream job is linear because it’s the next realistic step in your career trajectory. But other times, you’ll need to take on a stepping-stone job (or put another way, realistic next job) — or even a few — before you’ll secure your dream job. It’s important to know whether the path to your dream job is going to be linear or not.

Take my career, for example. I’ve had two big “career identity crises” in my life. In my early twenties, being a lawyer was my dream, but when I actually started working as a lawyer, I very quickly realized that I hated the practice of law. I then spent several years working as a director of legal talent, which I found much more fulfilling than being a lawyer, but even with this job I eventually experienced a period of struggle and soul-searching.

Eventually, through my journey of deep self-reflection, I decided to create my dream job — starting my own consulting firm focused on equity, inclusion, authenticity, and empowerment. I was blessed here in that my dream job and my realistic next job were one and the same — I had the skills, experience, and education I needed to transition into the next role I wanted. But for some people, there will be multiple steps between their current job and their dream job. It’s possible to cycle through a few jobs before you get to your dream job or the one that will last.

Take some time to consider what needs to happen before you can get to your dream job. Do you need additional qualifications or work experience? Do you need expertise in an area you’ve not yet been exposed to? Write it out and determine what a realistic next step would be for you in your career. Where can you realistically get to next that will help you reach your dream?

It’s also important to note that what you currently think your dream job is might not be your dream job forever.

Identify Any Self-Limiting Beliefs

For many of us who battle impostor syndrome, career transitions can be particularly difficult because we don’t feel ready or worthy of moving on and moving up. And while impostor syndrome impacts many of us, I’m particularly thinking of women, people of color, and other marginalized people here.

Because of the biases we may have internalized about who we are (read: sexism, racism, and other isms), we will often tell ourselves that we’re not ready for something even when we are. We may hold back in reaching for opportunities, which limits us.

If impostor syndrome is alive and well for you, I suggest doing an extra layer of self-reflection. When you’re determining your realistic next steps, take some time to really consider your qualifications on paper — and the qualifications of others who are likely to gun for the same job. Talk to your mentors, friends, family, and other supporters about whether they believe you’re ready for an opportunity or not. Often, they’ll see what you don’t — that you’ve got bountiful, untapped potential and that you are ready.

In a nutshell, don’t sell yourself short because of self-limiting beliefs. Shoot as close as possible to your dream job and take the time to deliberately remind yourself of the qualifications you do have when you’re deciding what to do next.

Create “Must Have”, “Would Be Nice,” and “Hells No” Lists

Whether you’re ready to go for your dream or you have a realistic next job in mind, this next step is the same. You must put pen to paper on the list of attributes that are vitally important to you, that are somewhat important to you, and that you absolutely can’t have in your next job. (Trust me when I say that I have used this exercise with dozens of coaching clients — and I’ve used it myself as well — and it’s great!)

The exercise is simple: create a document that you can reference easily with three lists of attributes for your next job: “Must Have,” “Would Be Nice To Have,” and “Hells No.”

For each list, consider the wide range of attributes related to your potential next job — factors like team style, sector, title, compensation, hours, location, skills you’d be using, skills you’d be developing, type of mentorship/sponsorship you’d receive, travel, and more.

Your “Must Have” list includes the things you absolutely need your next job to include before you’ll accept it. Your “Would Be Nice To Have” list outlines things you’d like to have but don’t need. Finally, your “Hells No” list acts as a gatekeeper — you unequivocally won’t accept a job that includes these things.

Having this document handy will help you stay on track and make decisions about what jobs to go for, what jobs to avoid, and ultimately, what job to accept.

Slow and Steady

When you hate your job (and especially if you’re miserable), it can be tempting to aim for a quick transition out. It’s like shopping while you’re hungry — everything looks yummy, so you’ll eat the first thing you can.

But I suggest taking a slower pace and wider view. Taking your time to reflect on what you want, plan your next steps strategically, and understand where you will and won’t compromise is key.

With this approach, the next job you land will be more suited to your authentic self — and when you get there, you will feel challenged, connected, and fulfilled.

The post Do You Hate Your Job? Here Are 4 Things You Can Do to Find a Job You Love appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

Having internalized the idea early on that in order to have a stable career, I needed to be an employee, I told myself that entrepreneurship wasn’t for me and that I didn’t have what it takes. I thought I would be an employee for life.

Fast forward to several years into my corporate career, and I had begun to feel disconnected from my work life. I knew that I had to make a career change, and so ten years into my career as an employee, I pursued an executive MBA, which meant working full-time and going to school full-time for 15 months. It was hell on earth (I literally had no social life), but it was during this time that I realized I actually had an innate entrepreneurial spirit.

Looking back, it’s obvious that I’d been developing an entrepreneurial spirit from a very young age. As a young child, I had a lemonade stand at the end of my driveway, where I’d sell the homemade beverage (I opened those cans of frozen lemonade concentrate myself!) to passersby. At 9, I got a paper route, and at 10, I was putting on magic shows for neighborhood kids.

I vividly remember doing the mental calculation that if I charged each kid 25 cents to see the show and gave them each a popsicle that cost me 5 cents, I’d pocket 20 cents per kid. Essentially, I was doing a net profit calculation as a 10-year-old.

A short-lived lawn mowing business followed, then a prolific stint as a babysitter (during which I managed to save and invest $1,000 from the ages of 11 to 13 from my $4/hour wage), and later, a gig doing entertainment for kids’ birthday parties.

Despite the negative narratives I was telling myself, my behavior as a youngster reflected that I was creative in developing ideas, industrious about executing them, and courageous about failing. I became really good at selling myself and my products and at building relationships with people — all of which are components of a successful entrepreneur! And in fact, I now realize that the same qualities I developed in my childhood ventures are the ones that have helped me become successful as a business owner.

Fast forward to today, and I’ve been running a successful consulting firm rooted in inclusion, which is my life’s passion and purpose, for almost ten years. It was a long road to get here, and those negative narratives, self-doubt, and fear held me back from doing it sooner. I’m so grateful that I was finally able to see that I embody the characteristics of an entrepreneur.

If you’re someone who wants to be an entrepreneur — whether that means launching a business, a side hustle, or becoming an innovative leader in any work that you undertake — there are three things you need to do and a handful of questions that it’s key to answer.

1. Reflect on your potential

• Looking back on your life, what experiences signal that you have an entrepreneurial spirit?
• What are you doing today that might signal that you’re already an entrepreneur? For example, what ideas are you developing and executing in your work and life?

2. Delve into the narratives you believe about yourself

• Where did you get the idea that you do or don’t have what it takes to run a business?
• What do you tell yourself about yourself that’s holding you back? (And if you struggle with negative narratives, you can learn more about how to interrupt them in chapter 7 of my book, The Authenticity Principle!)

3. Cultivate self-belief

• Did the exercises above uncover any misconceptions about your ability to be an entrepreneur? If so, how can you reframe the way you are viewing your abilities?
• How might the qualities you already have help you as an entrepreneur?
• What qualities do you need to develop further?

Working for myself, I’m happier now than I’ve ever been. Among the benefits of being an entrepreneur is the ability to custom-build a career around who you truly are — one that allows you to feel freer in your life and anchor to your personal values. And you can get there too!

The first step is to look at the barriers in your way, especially the ones you yourself have put up and have the power to change. I encourage you to reflect and unlock your inner entrepreneur!

The post Want to be an Entrepreneur? Ask Yourself These 7 Questions appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

I grew up in a household that was deeply committed to social justice issues, and so from a young age I knew that I wanted to pursue a career that was related to social justice and helping others.

But at that time, if you wanted to do social justice work, you didn’t start an equity, diversity and inclusion business, you joined a non-profit or became a politician, a journalist, or a lawyer instead. And that’s what I did! I became a lawyer, a career that I hoped would allow me to contribute to social change in a slightly more indirect way, while dabbling in freelance journalism.

As you know, I’m no longer a lawyer — here’s a bit on my story — and I’m now a professional speaker who runs her own consulting firm in the areas of equity, diversity, and inclusion.

I’m trying to use my voice to fight injustice and create a better world for BIPOC, for women, and for people from historically oppressed communities — and I love my job!

So how did the daughter of immigrants who used to dread public speaking become a professional speaker and educator? In this video, I share my journey to become a professional speaker and what I think is one of the key secrets to my success.

Watch now!

The post How I Became a Professional Inclusion Speaker appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

During those days, if you’d told me that one day I’d be a professional speaker, I would have said, “Get outta here!” But here we are now, decades later, and I’m blessed to speak on inclusion, leadership, authenticity, empowerment, and more for a living.

Getting to this place took a lot of hard work, and I was blessed enough to have great mentorship along the way. Through my experience (I’ve now presented over a thousand times to organizations around the world), I’ve developed specific practices that enable me to command attention onstage — and online, considering most of us are now public speaking/presenting virtually — and deliver my content as effectively as possible.

There are 4 specific tactics that I’ve learned along my journey that, if practiced, will help you become a better public speaker. Whether you’re presenting in a boardroom, classroom, conference room, theater, or on a video conferencing platform, paying attention to these elements will help you better connect with your audience, come across as polished and professional, and communicate your ideas in an engaging and effective way.

1. Body Positioning is Everything

Body positioning isn’t something I considered when I first started presenting, but I know now that it’s critical! This first became clear to me when I first did my yoga teacher training many years ago. We were taught, in the context of becoming skilled yoga teachers, how to move our energy throughout the room while teaching. Essentially, where you place your body in relation to the audience has a huge impact on how you are received.

There are a few key ways to ensure that your body positioning is optimal. For in-person presentations, the basic rules are to always stand (never sit) and avoid hiding behind a podium. Always make sure there isn’t anything physically placed between you and your audience. Next, think about proximity. You want to place yourself as close as possible to the audience. This means standing towards the front of the stage or walking as close to the front row of the audience as you can.

For my virtual presentations and webinars, I always sit (not stand), and I make sure to position myself in the frame like a headshot — centered on screen and without my head being cropped. You’ll also want to ensure that you have good lighting, either by setting up in a space that has good natural light or by using a ring light.

Finally, I’m what I call a “mover and shaker” when I present. This means that I move around a lot. I pace slowly across the stage or the front of the room throughout my live presentations and even on Zoom webinars I’m always gesturing with my hands. It may drive videographers crazy, but it’s effective for commanding attention and keeping the audience engaged — and it helps to move my energy through the room, just like the yogis advise.

2. Body Language is Important Too

Your body is a vessel for your message, so it’s important to take body language into account. For example, although I’m tall, I’m still petite, so I need to make an effort to ensure that my physical presence is felt in the room. To do this in person, and to ground myself onstage, I call on a favorite yoga pose (which also happens to be a power pose!), tadasana (mountain pose). This pose, which involves rooting through the feet, straightening the spine, and lifting through the crown of the head, also helps me to naturally deepen my breath and improve my posture, presence, and comfort in front of the crowd. (For more on how to use power poses for better presence, watch Amy Cuddy’s legendary TED Talk.)

And as I mentioned above, I’m also big on talking with my hands. Being animated in your gestures — with your fingers, hands, arms, legs, you name it — and facial expressions creates interest for the audience and can help emphasize content, especially if you’re presenting online. For example, I use non-verbal communication to emphasize words, highlight lists, draw attention to particular points, or add humor — especially when I’m telling a story. In all my years of speaking, I’ve rarely been told that I’m not engaging, and I credit this to my lively stage presence.

Watching a presentation is, in the end, a visual experience, so next time you present, think about how you can leverage power poses and non-verbal communication to improve your presence onstage or on screen.

3. Be Mindful of Your Voice

I’ve learned to play with the elements of my voice — including pitch, tone, volume, and speed — to add variety to my presentations, and I love doing this as a way to shake things up. When you skillfully vary these elements, it makes your presentation more engaging. This is a strategy that people rarely talk about, but it’s actually quite powerful.

Volume is fundamental. Vary your volume throughout your talk, but ensure that you’re loud enough to command attention and be heard. A good microphone is absolutely vital for video presentations, and breathing deeply will help with volume and with projecting, intonating well, and speaking smoothly. When you’re not breathing deeply, your words can sound slurred or muffled. As a fast talker myself, I know it can be hard to slow down your speech, but varying your pace is important to communicate effectively.

When it comes to the words you use, ensure that you vary your language to avoid sounding repetitive. Also, nerves or lack of practice can lead to using a lot of “filler” words like “um” and uh” when you speak, which is something to avoid. As with all voice-related strategies, you can train yourself on this over time. In other words, practice, practice, practice!

4. Use Notes Strategically

Even though I know my content inside out, I always bring notes with me. It can be distracting (and, frankly, look sloppy) to bring full-sized pages with you onstage, so I’ve developed a trick: I have my notes printed out on single-sided, half-page paper, and I leave them on a podium or table while on stage or on a note stand for virtual speaking events. Then I can glance at them if needed while I’m speaking.

Rather than printing out my whole talk, I type out my notes in bullet point form, capturing the flow of ideas, concepts, and sound bites I’ll be covering. Having this framework handy helps me to stay on track, especially when I am time limited.

One warning here: Don’t script your whole talk. If you memorize it word for word, it will sound mechanical when it comes time to deliver it for real. Rather, practice explaining your concepts and ideas a few times in natural language.

Go Forth and Practice!

Now that you know a few of the tricks, it’s time for the hard part — practice. I can’t emphasize the importance of it enough. Practice helps your ideas make their way into your unconscious brain, which in turn makes them easier to recall under pressure and stress. Ultimately, practice and experience are the ingredients that separate a good presentation from a great one. Now is as good a time as any to begin.

The post 4 Tips for Taking Your Public Speaking from Good to Great — Whether in Person or by Video appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

What separates the people who are successful in reaching their goals from the people who aren’t? In my experience, it comes down to this: working really hard and being relentless in the pursuit of excellence.

When I reflect on my career journey, it stands out to me that I have worked SO HARD to achieve all that I have earned in my life. Very little has been handed to me on a silver platter — and in fact, as a woman of color, that silver platter continues to be perpetually out of reach for me (and for so many others in my position!). And this is exactly why I have also relentlessly focused on producing excellent quality work.

In this video, I talk about why the pursuit of excellence is my key to success and how it will help you to achieve your goals too.

Watch now!

The post The Key Practice for Success in Your Career, Life & Everything Else appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

Like many, I grew up believing that in order to have a stable career, I needed to be an employee.

I was taught from a young age that having a job was far more secure than running a business. As immigrants to Canada, my parents had worked hard to get secure jobs, which enabled them to provide for us and give us opportunities, and I internalized the message that I should do the same, even though I always had an entrepreneurial streak — even as a young child.

Many of us don’t view ourselves as entrepreneurs, so the thought of starting our business fills us with fear and apprehension. We’re afraid that we don’t know what we’re doing and that we won’t be able to build a successful career. We’re afraid that we lack the skills to build a successful business and career and to build a steady stream of income.

But as someone who has now been running a business for over ten years, I can tell you that you likely have many of the skills you need to be an entrepreneur — it’s that fear is holding you back!

In this video, I share an exercise that will help you to reveal that you have the skills to be an entrepreneur. I hope it will help you realize that your entrepreneurial spirit has been there all along — you just need to embrace it!

Watch now!

The post How to Become an Entrepreneur appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

As you may know, I make my living as a professional speaker, presenting to thousands of people around the world on a range of inclusion, empowerment, and leadership topics. I hope you’ll believe me when I say this, but there was a time when I was more junior in my career that I felt really uncomfortable presenting to audiences and speaking at meetings.

It’s true! Unless I was leading a meeting, I had a really hard time speaking up, and I definitely wouldn’t have asked questions during a Q&A period, and I often sat silent in learning sessions.

I now understand that the reason I feared speaking up was that I was afraid of being judged for what I said. I was afraid that people would think I was stupid if I said something wrong or if I sounded timid or if my grammar wasn’t perfect. As I was often the only woman of color in the room, I was already feeling pressure about how others would perceive me. I was often frozen.

But there’s something really critical that I did that helped me to get to a place where I became comfortable speaking to audiences, speaking at meetings, and more — and I became a professional speaker over a decade ago, so I know it works!

In this video I talk about the important thing I did to tackle my fear of speaking in public. I hope that it will help you too.

Watch now!

The post How To Overcome Your Fear of Public Speaking appeared first on Ritu Bhasin.

I’ve received lots of professional guidance over this period, but the single best piece of career advice that I’ve ever received is this: always spend less than you make.

Why is this the best nugget of advice I’ve ever received? Because spending less than you make will ultimately give you the financial freedom to take almost any job you want, instead of being stuck in a job you hate.

I can’t remember who gave me this advice (although it definitely aligns with the mentality of my immigrant parents!), but I do know that consistently living well below my means has served me in countless ways. Following this advice is what eventually enabled me to pursue the career of my dreams (because I had saved enough to take a leap) and live in accordance with my values and my purpose.

If I hadn’t followed this advice, chances are, my life would look very different.

Resisting the Pressure to Spend

At first, living below my means was not too difficult for me because it’s how I grew up. My immigrant parents taught me to live a frugal and waste-free life — searching for bargains, reusing things, reducing consumption, and forgoing designer brands were all par for the course in our household.

It was when I first entered the legal profession in my early twenties that I was confronted by a culture of rampant spending. I was surrounded by young people who had just come into large salaries, and many of them were spending their money (all of their money) on flashy things.

Despite the pressure to fit in by spending (and I do love bling!), I resisted and continued to live very frugally up until my late thirties. From the moment I graduated from school, I began paying off my student loans and saving a good chunk of my income.

Some of my friends who were spending all kinds of money on flashy things would call attention to it, but I didn’t care because I never felt deprived — I was still able to live well! When it came to clothes, the sale rack was my best friend, and I still managed to look nice and well put together (and btw, I still love sales!).

When everyone around me was buying 50-inch flat screen TVs, I kept my clunky hand-me-down TV until it almost stopped working. When I bought my first property, I chose a modest condo that I could afford and lived there for thirteen years without upgrading. While many of my work colleagues drove BMWs, I delayed buying my first car until my mid-thirties, and then opted for a “fun and functional” car instead of a fancy one.

Most importantly, while others around me were settling into high-spending lifestyles, I had started to build a financial safety net.

Saying No to Golden Handcuffs

The biggest benefit of always living below your means is that you’ll build a sustainable lifestyle for yourself — one that will afford you more options and flexibility over the course of your life.

When you spend every single cent of what you earn — or more, if you’re like many people in our culture — it’s likely that you’ll become accustomed to a certain lifestyle. The problem is that it’s exceptionally hard to go backwards. You might fall prey to “golden handcuffs” — becoming so accustomed to your expensive lifestyle that you’re trapped in your job, unable or unwilling to lose your higher salary. In turn, your life choices will be limited.

When you drive a fancy car, wear expensive clothes, take luxury vacations, and engage in expensive pastimes, you’re also more likely to socialize with people who have similar lifestyles. This binds you even tighter to your salary because you’ll likely feel pressure to keep up with your friends and a lot will be at stake if you decide to alter how you live.

There are also spiritual consequences to spending beyond your means. It’s human nature to search for meaning in life,  but filling the void with material things (as our culture and social systems so often demand) will simply never quench that thirst. Instead, it becomes an endless search — a cycle of always needing more and relentlessly keeping up with the Joneses.

Focusing Inward Instead of Outward

In being committed to living well below my means throughout my early career, I was able to focus more time on growing my personal power than on keeping up with social demands. I spent my time with like-minded friends, cultivated my passion for social justice through volunteer work, and worked on myself — through meditation, therapy, group healing, self-reflection, and more.

Because I was focused on filling my heart and soul with things that were truly meaningful to me, during the first decade and a half of my career I came closer to understanding myself and living authentically, which allowed me to realize that I wanted to switch careers a few times. Had I not been living below my means, ultimately I would not have had the financial freedom required to leave my highfalutin job in the legal industry (and bi-weekly salary) and make the leap into entrepreneurship (going without a paycheck for nearly a year).

I’m so grateful that I did.

Exploring Your Relationship with Money

Always live below your means is the piece of advice I would pass along to anyone who wants to build a fulfilling life and career on their own terms. I suggest asking yourself a few key questions to explore your own relationship with money:

• Do you currently spend below, at, or beyond your means?
  
• Is your spending in line with your needs and your values?
  
• Do you ever find yourself buying material things because of social pressure or a desire to measure up? How do these purchases ultimately make you feel?
  
• What is one expense you could eliminate today that would make you feel freer?

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